Report: For a Moment, You Lock Eyes with a Deer in the Forest. You’re Sure You Sound Crazy, but It Just Feels Important Somehow.

MORGANTOWN, WV—Seeking respite from an unrelenting hangover brought on by drinking too much flask tequila during your daughter’s eighth birthday party held at your ex-wife’s new home, you lock eyes with a wayward deer traversing the neighboring forest and, you’re sure you sound crazy, but it just feels important somehow. To some, the deer’s blank, obsidian gaze may suggest the creature’s dullness, but you see a freeing ignorance. Reflecting on the simplicity of the herbivore’s prerogatives, you marvel at how the natural world presses on regardless of how many slurred insults you hurled at Carol’s new, annoyingly well-intentioned husband, Troy. Standing in quiet concert with the majestic beast, you are emboldened by the certainty that you were destined to experience this moment. God’s creations don’t concern themselves with the exaggerated gossip of extended family members, or the fact that Troy’s gift of family horseback riding lessons was better received than your Xbox One X. Sure, the deer may be alone too, but you’re certain his loving family awaits him just behind the thicket, completely accepting of his need to just go rogue sometimes. In fact, his deer daughter may even prefer that he gives her lots of space—oh, he’s walking away now. That was brief, but it’s still nice getting those cosmic reminders that you’re on the right track.